Traditional Xhosa weddings differ quite substantially from those of the West, although the trend today is to perform both sets of ceremonies.
The traditional process of marriage begins with the ukutwala, roughly translated as ‘the taking’, which occurs after a groom’s family has chosen a suitable bride for him. The men of the groom’s family house, where she will awake the next morning. It is important to know that the ukutwala is not a ‘kidnapping’, the prospective bride is not harmed and may return to her family, rather it is a formal method of signifying the intention to marry, and such begins the betrothal process.